Never- I'll die with my boots on!

*begins with a sigh*

I'm no hero. I'm not bigger, better or braver than anyone else. In the grand scheme of things my footprint on this earth will probably not even be noticed. Sure- I am like most... I'd like to think I've done something in my lifetime that would change, effect or affect the way life is after my death. But at this point in my life I don't see that happening. But even with all of that said;

I
won't
give
up

I won't.

And sure... the thought of why are you fighting, struggling, pushing, pressing- trying over and over again? comes to my mind almost every day- if not everyday. But I can't give in to that thought. Too much is as risk.

My circumstances involve my health but everyone is undergoing personal struggles of some kind. Everyone. The only difference is the struggle its self. All over the world there are people who are sick, ill, hurting; in pain or dying. That is their fight, their struggle or test.

But just as equally there are people right now fighting to keep a home and a place to live. There are men and women who are in actual combat and fighting in wars. They can't give up. There are children in third-world countries who struggle daily to find food for large families and walk miles for water. They can't give up.

So many individuals that exist instead of live and are fighting depression, anxiety and fear. Families looking for lost children, missing loved-ones... they can't give up.

For every battle or struggle there is a price that would come from willingly surrendering and ceasing to fight to win or overcome. In every persons life there is something that they are working to achieve; striving to attain; hoping to gain. And in each of those circumstances- to give up would be to not only admit defeat but withhold from ourselves and even our families the presence of peace, security, shelter and possibly life.

Me? If I gave up today- you know- trying... it would affect my family and those who are close to me very deeply. I wouldn't just be hurting myself- but those that are important to me. Giving up is seldom a solitary consequence. In fact- it becomes something more along the lines of solidarity: what affects one will surely affect all. There will always be casualties that are left behind. What about you? Think of those who love you, depend on you- need you. If you gave up on your struggle, how would that affect them?

I don't know all of the answers but I do know that more important than the issues and problems we face- are the people that we are facing them with. And what about you? me? us? Aren't we important? Yeah, we are. So giving up would be letting 'us' down. We are (everyone of us) important and valuable. God said so- He loves us- and wants to help us. He wants the best for us. Sometimes it may be hard to swallow but life is full of ups and downs. And like a little song from Disney's "animated" Robin Hood... sometimes the ups outnumber the downs. Life is NOT smooth sailing. There are going to be some gale winds- even hurricanes but that doesn't mean it will never be calm. Prepare for the storm; enjoy the calm and continue to live.

I know- I'm rambling. I'm (trying to) encouraging myself as well as others... I hope so any way. But before I began my journey I just took whatever the day gave me and didn't try for anything more or better. I didn't fight to get out of the bed. I didn't plan on another year or even a day. I wasn't participating... I was existing- that's all. And its true- my life can hardly be compared to someone who is full of health, energy or vigor BUT- I am living. I'm alive. I'm fighting. When my body is past pain comprehension- I still keep trying to get something from the day. And more than that- I try... I do- to give something to the day. And that is all we can ask, isn't it? Is that we continue and try. Not give up- not give in. Stand and fight and if we must die- that we go with our boots on.

Luv & Prayers,
Joy